I’m going to share a secret with you that revolutionized my thinking. Ready to have your mind blown?
YOU get to CHOOSE how you feel.
Your car just got wrecked, you came down with the flu, or someone wrote you nasty hate mail? In difficult situations, it may seem like you HAVE to be sad, angry, or stressed because that is the natural conditioned response.
Imagine with me for a moment that you have just experienced a crisis of your choice. See yourself breathing deeply, smiling, and thinking to yourself how fortunate you truly are. Notice that there are positive elements in your situation. You express gratitude for your favorite blessings and even for this current opportunity to grow. You reframe your perspective and navigate the situation easily. Your mind tells you that you are okay and your inner alarms are silenced. Your blood pressure does not rise and you address the situation step by step. You work through it with a positive attitude; this is just another situation to go through on your life journey. You realize that “things happen” and can even expect future problems to be overcome easily.
Now, how does that feel when you imagine it? Pretty good, right?
The formula I follow for both personal issues and in my coaching is as follows:
Thoughts -> Feelings -> Actions -> Situation
Your thoughts create your feelings which create your actions which creates the situation you find yourself in. Thought patterns become ingrained and the real work is to unstick those thought patterns.
I wish I could take credit for this, but I learned about this concept while studying Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. For further learning, research CBT and start noticing this concept in your life. If you need a more personal experience to begin to implement this way of thinking in your life, I would love to coach you through it. Thought patterns are my specialty.
Note: you do risk having others think you are too relaxed or that you don’t care. If your family tends to be excitable, this could cause tension. Simply explain that you will take steps to remedy the issue, but would rather do so with ease. I don’t know about you, but ease is one of my new favorite words.